


Memory (Turn your face to the moonlight)

by SlingShotMalone



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Sorry this is all I know how to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlingShotMalone/pseuds/SlingShotMalone
Summary: Basically Crowely has a nightmare about his fall and Aziraphale comforts him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 16





	Memory (Turn your face to the moonlight)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about literally only being able to write hurt/comfort-
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoy!

Memories are very important to the human mind and soul. And most of the time it’s not limited to humans. Other species remember things, they remember certain things, and those things will obviously affect their actions.

Crowely remembers a lot about being an angel. He remembers creating stars, and being among the other angels. He and Aziraphale didn’t exactly know each other when Crowely was an angel. They knew of each other's existence. They just didn’t know each other. 

Crowely also remembers being a demon. He remembers walking through the dark halls of hell for the first time, disoriented and confused. But mostly terrified. He remembers meeting hastur and lingur for the first time. He remembers seeing Beezlebub on their throne for the first time.

What Crowley doesn’t remember is what happened in between. He never really remembered his fall. And frankly he doesn’t really want to remember. Or he didn’t want to remember. Of course he questioned this. He wondered why he didn’t remember his fall from heaven. Even if it was horrible he was still curious.

After a while he kinda forgot about questioning it. Or he just stopped questioning it entirely. That part of his mind had been peaceful, maybe a little jostled up during armagedidn’t. This was until one night in late december. 

The redhead had been peacefully sleeping in the bedroom in his flat that he occasionally shared with Aziraphale. This night though he was alone. Aziraphale said something about having to fix a shelf a customer had messed up. 

The night had been peaceful so far. The air was still and the flat was quiet and undisturbed. His hair was up in a messy man-bun and he was splayed out across the black sheets. He had a relaxed, neutral expression for a while before the nightmare began. 

He was back in heaven. He wasn’t wearing all-black like he usually did. Everything was bold and bright and way too light. This was the type of memory with the corners blurred and greyed. He was terrified and confused, and just as quickly as he got to heaven everything was turning to flames. He was falling and weightless and still terrified. He couldn’t feel it right at the moment but he was able to feel tears streaming down his face. Fear crept through his bones like vines and made its way to his heart or his core or whatever was there. He had fallen. Everything was burning around him, blistering his skin. Suddenly he stopped falling. He was on solid ground. He looked up, only to see the thousands of eyes of demons. Just staring. Then they started to whisper, at first it was unintelligible. Then he was able to make out what they were saying. 

‘You wish you could go back don’t you?’

‘If only you had done different’ 

‘Your such a failure’

‘Failure’

‘Failure’

‘Why would he love you’

‘Of all beings you?’

The whispers started to blend together. Into a chorus of insults and phrases he knew to be true. He had fallen from the heavens. 

His eyes flew open. The bright yellow of his irises were filled with fear and pain. Tears began to form in his eyes as he fought desperately out of the black silk sheets. His body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and his heart was pounding like a rabbits. 

He curled up into a small ball after he had thrown the sheets over his legs. His entire body was shaking harshly and he felt as if everything around him was blurring together. He clawed desperately at the sheets and tried to ground himself. His breath was coming in harsh gasps in a frantic attempt to breathe correctly.

He looked over at his bedside table when he heard a soft buzzing sound against the dark oak of the table. He stumbled over himself trying to grab his phone and unlocking it. He stared down at Aziraphale’s icon for just a few seconds before answering the call.

“Angel?” He asked breathlessly. 

“Crowely are you alright? You sound...hurt” Aziraphale answered. There was a pause. “Did-did the demons come back? Because if they did so help them god-” Aziraphale said, ready to fight all of hell for him. 

“No..No angel it-nobody no demon or angel..It was just” Crowely said, struggling to find the right words. He sucked in another deep breath through gritted teeth. “It was- it was the fall, I had a nightmare about my fall” Crowely said, feeling completely pathetic for showing any signs of weakness even in front of Aziraphale, the angel or technically ex-angel he had spent so much time, or technically since the dawn of time with. 

He let out another harsh sob escape his throat. He hated crying though, He hated feeling vulnerable and he hated how he had no idea what would happen next or how Aziraphale would react.

Aziraphale seemed terrified, yes Crowely had gotten nightmares before and had called Aziraphale for help but this was a new kind of terrified. He was terrified for Crowely and for how Crowely sounded so broken. 

Aziraphale miracled himself into the red heads flat, it was a bit of a breach of privacy yes but he needed to see Crowely, to offer any comfort if he could. He wandered down the halls of the flat. The two had spent a lot of time together at the bookshop so the flat was still essentially a maze to the blonde. 

He finally stumbled into the confused redheads bedroom. Crowely was still curled up in a ball on his bed, admittedly a little less curled up and repeating the blonde's name in confusion. The serpent looked up at Aziraphale.

The first things he noticed when he saw Crowley was 1. He was covered in an odd amount of sweat, even for a celestial being and 2. His eyes. They were yellow orbs filled with fear, confusion and Alarm. 

Aziraphale let out a small breath he didn’t know he was holding and carefully made his way to Crowely. 

“Are-are you ok? Can I help?” he asked cautiously, sitting down on the edge of the redhead's bed. 

Crowely looked down slightly, happy he offered some sort of comfort but the swirling chaos of his mind at the moment blocked out most of those thoughts. His expression crumbled and his shoulders slumped. 

Aziraphale carefully moved closer, gently settling his hand on the redhead’s back. The heavy, slightly callused hand helped ground Crowely. With tears still streaming down his face, he moved, wrapping his arms around the blonde and settling his head on his chest.

Crowely was breathing heavily and quickly. It felt as if there was some crushing weight on his lungs and he had no way of getting enough air. Aziraphale was startled for a second before regaining his senses and gently rubbing his back while whispering sweet nothings.

For around another 30 minutes Crowley sobbed into the blonde’s shoulder. He gasped harshly in a desperate attempt to breathe. Aziraphale whispered continuously for him to breathe or sweet comforting words. 

Eventually his sobs and gasps began to decrease and quiet, turning into soft whimpers whenever Aziraphale moved them and small sniffles and hiccups. He pulled away from the blonde who had now moved them so he was sitting on the blondes lap. 

“Sorry you-uh had to see m-me like that,” Crowely said, avoiding Aziraphale’s eyes. “My dear, there's no reason to apologize for your own emotions” Aziraphale said calmly, gently wiping away a stray tear from the red head’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. 

“Now,” he says, settling his arms so they rested on Crowley's sides “Can you tell me, calmly, what this dream that spiraled you here was about?” He asked softly. 

Crowely again refused to meet his eyes, instead dropping his head on the other's shoulder. “It was-It was the...fall,” He said. “It was..all firey and dark at the same time.” he said before pausing long enough that Aziraphale felt he should say something. 

“I’m so sorry love, but if you don’t mind, may i ask, why is this the first time you’ve had a nightmare about the fall?” He asked softly. Crowely didn’t answer for a while, making Aziraphale feel bad, thinking he had offended the redhead, but before he could apologize Crowley spoke. 

“I..I don’t really know. I never was able to remember the fall before.” He said sadly. 

Aziraphale didn’t really answer, he just sat there silently for a while. Eventually Crowely succumbed to being so exhausted from the crying and he fell asleep. Aziraphale gently cradled the redhead to his chest as he picked him up and moved the two so they were under the black silk covers. 

Aziraphale looked down at the sleeping man before also shutting his eyes and falling asleep too.


End file.
